Monday, January 09, 2006

Healthy Choices

It's the time of year when many of us take a good, hard look in the mirror and come away unimpressed. The holidays take their toll, and the birth of a new year brings the opportunity for self-renewal. A good place to start is a healthy diet. A diet rich in vegetables, fruit, and whole grains. Cutting back on animal fats and meat. For those of us who practice cannibalism, this has been a tough nut to crack. No longer. Thanks to bioengineering, there is now a meat-free, human flesh alternative: Hufu!

Save a thigh for me!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Full Disclosure

I did not accept bribes from Jack Abramoff. Not that any were offered. In fact, if he had offered me a bribe, I probably would have taken it. But then again, what could I do for Jack Abramoff? It's not like I have any influence with anyone. The best I could do would be to pick up his Starbuck's order. Speaking of indentured servitude, remember these guys?

P.S. I did not have sex with Monica Lewinsky, either.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Web Stuff

Wow, this web stuff is really cool! Not only do you get to use formatting stuff like bold and italic, but you can add links as well. For example, here is a link to the Library of Congress website: Library of Congress website. But it doesn't end there. You can add links to random words like "Halibut" or "Paris Hilton". In fact, I can even link back to this blog.

On second thought, don't click on that last link. It might destroy the entire Internet.

A New Year

I decided to try this blogging thing to see what all the excitement is about. Although at first glance, it doesn't seem all that exciting. I mean, I feel like I'm talking to myself here. Which I do enough of already. What if there's nobody out there scanning this? Is it really a blog if no one reads it?

How about we try a little experiment: if you're in the car and reading this blog, flash your headlights. Come to think of it, if you're on the road, you probably shouldn't be reading anyone's blog, much less mine. Pull over to the side of the road first, and then flash your headlights. If you're out driving and not reading this blog, you may have noticed that traffic has cleared up a bit. Be sure and wave at the folks stopped by the side of the road. The ones flashing their headlights.