Tuesday, May 16, 2006

On the bleeding edge of technology…

This post is actually being sent directly from a word-processing program. I can’t tell you who the vendor is, since it’s still in beta. Not that it really matters anyway. I’m sure if the powers that be really wanted to know what I’m using to post this, they can just intercept my email/phone/bathroom rantings. Just kidding about the last one. At least I think so. Just to be safe: if you’re still listening, ignore my little tirade against the current Administration.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Parking lots are not parks

I know it has the word "park" in it, but a parking lot is not a park. Parking lots are for cars. Parks are for people, birds, bunny rabbits, slugs. Putting a stray tree here and there, or 10 square feet of salal doth not a habitat create. If you're going to pave, pave it all and get it over with. Then gather together the random bits of open space into one contiguous park. Now you have two habitats: asphalt and flourescent lights for the cars; and trees, grass, and yes, salal for the people, birds, and bunnies. Slugs get pitched back onto the asphalt.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Shouting down the well...

Much as I expected, after completely ignoring this blog for over a month, I come back to find that the rest of the world has been doing pretty much the same.

Let's make a deal: I'll make the effort to post at least weekly if you make the effort to read my postings. Both of you. Not just Mom. Dad has to read it too.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Healthy Choices

It's the time of year when many of us take a good, hard look in the mirror and come away unimpressed. The holidays take their toll, and the birth of a new year brings the opportunity for self-renewal. A good place to start is a healthy diet. A diet rich in vegetables, fruit, and whole grains. Cutting back on animal fats and meat. For those of us who practice cannibalism, this has been a tough nut to crack. No longer. Thanks to bioengineering, there is now a meat-free, human flesh alternative: Hufu!

Save a thigh for me!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Full Disclosure

I did not accept bribes from Jack Abramoff. Not that any were offered. In fact, if he had offered me a bribe, I probably would have taken it. But then again, what could I do for Jack Abramoff? It's not like I have any influence with anyone. The best I could do would be to pick up his Starbuck's order. Speaking of indentured servitude, remember these guys?

P.S. I did not have sex with Monica Lewinsky, either.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Web Stuff

Wow, this web stuff is really cool! Not only do you get to use formatting stuff like bold and italic, but you can add links as well. For example, here is a link to the Library of Congress website: Library of Congress website. But it doesn't end there. You can add links to random words like "Halibut" or "Paris Hilton". In fact, I can even link back to this blog.

On second thought, don't click on that last link. It might destroy the entire Internet.

A New Year

I decided to try this blogging thing to see what all the excitement is about. Although at first glance, it doesn't seem all that exciting. I mean, I feel like I'm talking to myself here. Which I do enough of already. What if there's nobody out there scanning this? Is it really a blog if no one reads it?

How about we try a little experiment: if you're in the car and reading this blog, flash your headlights. Come to think of it, if you're on the road, you probably shouldn't be reading anyone's blog, much less mine. Pull over to the side of the road first, and then flash your headlights. If you're out driving and not reading this blog, you may have noticed that traffic has cleared up a bit. Be sure and wave at the folks stopped by the side of the road. The ones flashing their headlights.